DuffMan & Mrs. Duff - May 26-30 - WDW Swan

Travel dates: Sunday May 26 - Thursday May 30
Travel method: Sun Country Airlines / WDW buses, ferries, monorails
Resort: Swan
Ages Represented in Group: 36 (DuffMan) & 35 (Mrs. Duff)
Experience: 2 previous (but brief & vastly inferior) WDW trips each, years ago and well before Animal Kingdom existed. I (DuffMan) am very familiar with DL; Mrs. has only been there twice. We both did Universal Orlando once and once was enough.
Comments: We skipped Soarin' and TZToT (Mrs. Duff found them distressing @ Anaheim) and Test Track (we both found it underwhelming during a previous WDW trip). We hit just about every other major ride at all 4 parks.
Cast: Me (DuffMan) & Mrs. Duff.

Prologue:
I'm putting the "potentially useful tidbits" in bold face because I suspect a lot of what follows is old news to this audience :)

This was a somewhat spur-of-the-moment trip inasmuch as we had just over a month to prepare. This being *The* WDW trip for us, I spent lots of time planning (and thanks are due in part to you MousePadTeers). I printed, on legal paper, an Excel spreadsheet (well, okay, five) detailing what we had planned to do for each part of each day--but into that plan I built wide blocks of "free time" to account for unexpected delays, intolerable crowds, naps we never ended up taking, and moments of spontaneity. Mrs. Duff and I are, however, not terribly spontaneous, so we found the itinerary reassuring rather than confining. And it worked pretty much perfectly.

We made two dinner reservations, Marrakesh and Coral Reef, but ended up only keeping the first one (see below). The weather during the whole week was significantly windier than Florida usually experiences around that time, according to locals we spoke with. This helped cool us down in shaded spots and had other impacts (again, see below).

Day 1 - Sun. May 26 - Epcot:
After a bumpy flight, we checked in at the Swan without incident, packed up my trusty backpack full of sandwiches and assorted necessaries, and took the ferry to Epcot's International Gateway. We did Spaceship Earth first, which Mrs. Duff had never done and which I hadn't done in over 20 years. This would also be the last ride we went on during our long trip and became our mutual favorite. Mrs. Duff was unprepared for the photo the first time through and ended up appearing confused in the animation.

Next we did Living with the Land, which we both enjoyed, and the Seas with Nemo and Friends, which... we did not repeat. I never got the chance to go on the pre-Nemo version of the Seas ride (it'd been either under refurbishment or in the process of being gutted during my previous 2 trips) and I regret that. The Nemo version of the Seas is too loud and largely corny. However, later in the trip, we spent a good half hour just sitting in the tanks watching the real marine life go by.

Club Cool was GREAT. Stickiest floors in Epcot, to be sure, but a fun experience for both of us, being connoisseurs of junk food. We observed that several fellow guests seemed to have less sensitive faculties of taste--some remarked that a lot of the international colas tasted the same to them. We didn't find that to be the case at all, and better still, none of them were gross to us. The downside: we returned here later in the week and found close to half of the flavors to be temporarily unavailable.

(On that note: does anyone know why you can't buy full-size bottles, or even cases, of "Beverly" or "Kinley" or any of these other foreign beverages at Club Cool? WDW's the last place I'd expect an obvious mercantile opportunity to be missed.)

We made our way to World Showcase to wander and catch a couple movies--China and France. Both were great, though the France one was much more aesthetically impressive. Too bad we were surrounded by loud idiots and complaining kids. (China's movie was nearly empty.) If I were to do it again, I'd pick the deadest hour at WS for the France movie.

We also had time for Gran Fiesta, which was almost as underwhelming as the original Rio del Tiempo. I'd hoped for at least one animatronic Donald, maybe during the climactic musical number that the whole ride foreshadows.

This was the most crowded afternoon/evening we experienced at WS, so we elected to wait on Illuminations. We could see parts of it from our south-facing hotel room, however.

Speaking of Swan: we enjoyed their eco-friendly program wherein you get a $5 voucher at any Swan/Dolphin restaurant or lounge for each day you opt out of housekeeping. We opted out every day :) and sampled the nice sushi at Kimono's and the elaborate cocktails at the Bluezoo Lounge.

Day 2 - Mon. May 27 (MEMORIAL DAY :/ ) - AK & MK:
We got up before 4 A.M. under the mistaken impression that the Animal Kingdom bus would arrive before 6 to take us to EMH. Funny enough, the Magic Kingdom buses DO run over 1 hour before Early Entry, but not AK's, apparently. On the plus side, we got to enjoy some cool and crowdless conditions during our predawn wait for the bus.

We followed the great EMH rush to Everest, got FPs, and trekked over to Dinosaur. Neither of us had been on it before, though we'd done Indy at DL and enjoyed it a lot. This one, not so much. Cool theming at the entrance, but the ride itself is way too dark--so dark it feels cheap--and the jerking is either more violent or simply more impactful because you don't know what's going to happen next. Mrs. Duff may have gotten a slight case of whiplash from it; she ended up opting out of Space Mountain and Big Thunder due to persistent neck pain for the rest of the trip. This had the effect of contributing to my own fatigue because we couldn't switch off on backpack duty. So Dinosaur was one of the few not-so-bright spots of the trip overall.

Everest was great, though: smooth and impressive in all respects. Mrs. Duff kept her eyes closed and missed the startling proximity of the Yeti's claws.

We did both the Forest and Jungle trails, which were great too, and of course the Safari. We skipped Kali because neither of us wanted to be drenched. Flights of Wonder was quite cool and worth the wait, in our mutual opinion.

The Bug movie, on the other hand-- that is just one of the worst-designed queues I've experienced, at least in the pre-seating area. Brilliant idea to cram a ton of people into a barely-cooled, too-dark, low-ceilinged chamber where the ambient noise is so great that you can't hear the cast members repeatedly screaming "FILL IN ALL AVAILABLE SPACE" because I guess there's no PA. I've never had even a moment of even a hint of claustrophobia, ever, until the wait for It's Tough to Be a Bug. The movie itself was slightly entertaining, but simultaneously too kid-oriented and too terrifying for lots of kids; we saw at least two leave early in tears. And then the exit is a long single-file line, so your urge to escape the confining land of being-a-Bug is further frustrated. I don't know whether they thought that putting a movie inside the tree was too cool of an idea to worry about the logistics of it, or whether they really wanted to convey the sense of being an insect in a swarm, but it truly was "Tough to Be" in that situation. Except in terms of the technical effects of the film itself, we found it to be a complete fail.

Luckily this was the last thing we had planned for this park; it was nearly noon and we cathartically beat cheeks, taking the bus to Contemporary Resort for my parasailing appointment at Sammy Duval's. This was my first time parasailing--definitely worth the ~$90, but definitely not recommended for those with any fear of heights. You can see downtown Orlando from up there. The freakiest part for me was the high wind, which jerked my parachute around in a pretty threatening manner.

We then took a monorail circuit to look at the other resorts (we didn't disembark, but Poly smelled so wonderful I kind of wish we had) and then spend our afternoon/evening at MK. Our first stop was Main Street Station, taking the train to Frontierland without a whole lot of a plan--mainly just to see how rough the crowds were. We got a Splash Mt. FP and hit Pirates (only a 20 min. wait or so), then the Tiki Room, which I'd never seen at either park. That was fun in a corny sort of way. We then rode Splash Mountain (awesome as always) and took the train from Frontierland to Fantasyland.

We hadn't made a reservation at BoG (no way we could have), so we dined at Gaston's instead. The pork shank and (regular disposable cup of) LeFou Brew were well worth the money; I had enough meat and sugar in me to provide a second and even third wind. However, the fruit-and-veggie option is weak, tiny, and overpriced. (The souvenir LeFou Brew mugs looked pretty tiny, too--possibly not worth the cost.) From here we hit Haunted Mansion and took the longer Graveyard route through the queue, regretting it almost immediately due to the heat. The interactive components are mildly amusing, but the non-graveyard route is much quicker, and as of last week Haunted Mansion has no FastPass.

After a trip on the PeopleMover, we headed back to our hotel.

Day 3 - Tues. May 28 - MK & Epcot:
We slept in a bit on this day, per our itinerary. Arriving well after MK opened, went to Under the Sea to scope out the wait; as it was only 30 min., and we wanted to see the queue, we decided to go for it. It has some seriously impressive animatronics; I don't know what they used on Ursula's chin to make it bounce so realistically, but I'm glad they were selective about which body parts they used it on.

Around the new Beast Castle vicinity, we saw (for the first time for either of us) cast members costumed as the wicked stepmother and stepsisters from Cinderella! We didn't bother to interact with them, but their demeanor was amusing from afar. They all sort of looked like they'd just eaten something unpleasant. Alas, the rigors of cast members' preparation.

For some reason (possibly as a result of the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train construction), the FP distribution for Pooh is located nowhere near Pooh; we put it off partly for this reason. We wandered in Fantasyland a bit, rode It's a Small World, then figured escaping the typically-intense Fantasyland crowds would be wise. We did Haunted Mansion again and the Hall of Presidents--the new script is very good and the Obama animatronic is a more realistic representation than Bush II's. (I can't help but wonder if Spitting Image made the Reagan one, but anyway...) After a longish wait, we rode Small World, then grew weary of the crowds and headed to Epcot early.

We did Spaceship Earth again and then hit the Imagination pavilion. Mrs. Duff had never seen Captain EO and was curious; I had seen it (back during its original Anaheim release) and shrugged my assent. Worst 3D of the trip. I'm not sure if the film still requires the old red-and-blue glasses or what, but it was downright headache-inducing. Luckily the ridiculousness of the film made up for it. Also noteworthy: no other WDW movie we saw, 3D or otherwise, elicited as loud and apparently affectionate a response from the crowd. They cheered three times: at the beginning, when Captain EO appears, and at the end.

The redone Figment ride was...well, cute. I chuckled one or two times, mainly at Eric Idle. I think I preferred Figment when he didn't talk.

We made our way toward World Showcase so we'd have plenty of time for window-shopping before our dinner reservation at Marrakesh. We discovered a nifty (air-conditioned) exhibit in the Morocco pavilion that, despite the crowds, drew only 2 or 3 other people for the whole half-hour we lingered there. The anime exhibit at the Japan pavilion was busier and would really be of interest only to anime fans.

Restaurant Marrakesh was great. Neither of us tend to be very hungry when travelling, so we saved a few bucks by just ordering appetizers and cold drinks. Nice break, nice music, pleasant staff. The bellydancer at one point went into the audience to recruit a bunch of kids to dance along (including a boy who looked juuuust old enough to maybe have an ulterior motive).

This was also the day we chose to see the American Adventure, which neither of us had ever experienced. It struck me as a more comic-book version of America, continually interesting and technically impressive, but unsubtle and overdone compared to the HoP. Still, I was glad we got to it. (And I felt dumb for not recognizing that the animatronic Civil War family was setting up the old "Two Brothers" song from Anaheim's Great Moments w/ Mr. Lincoln.)

We did a little more window-shopping and then staked out a spot (per the Unofficial Guide's advice) at the gondola landing in Italy for Illuminations. We got there ~50 min. early and could have arrived closer to 35 min. early. What the guide didn't indicate is that the bell tower in the Italy pavilion, which we were directly in front of, is where some of the speakers for the show are located. AND THEY ARE LOOOUD. Still, we had a great view and the show was impressive. Some of the music was really genuinely good, not just theme-park good.

This being evening EMH, we stuck around the park awhile, getting onto Maelstrom in about 5 minutes (withOUT FPs) despite the post-Illuminations congestion. Mrs. Duff was baffled by the abrupt transition from the trolls to the oil rig. If they ever decide to add a rollercoaster to Epcot, I think they should give it a Viking theme, bulldoze the Maelstrom, and give a new boat ride to, say, Japan or Italy.

Feeling bold, we gave Mission: Space a try. The last time we'd been on it, it made almost everyone in the party pretty sick. We hoped this time might be better since our stomachs wouldn't be as empty. As it turned out, we waited 35 minutes (and started fading fast) and I did indeed get pretty sick. We walked back to the Swan from Mission: Space (at 10:30 at night!) because I didn't trust my guts on the ferry. This would be our most exhausting day, and yet we'd get up early the next day too...

Day 4 - Wed. May 29 - DHS & Epcot:
Neither of us had ever been to DHS before. We walked from Swan (a pleasant walk in the morning, and nobody around), arriving before any of the buses. This meant we were right at the ticket-scanners when the park opened; had we failed to do this, we might never have gotten onto TSMM. This was the only time we saw several grown-ups being told not to run, then slowing to a semi-jog and running again a few moments later.

It was our first stop, of course, and we got FPs, then rode it, so we could ride it again soon after. Mrs. Duff enjoyed it immensely, and I enjoyed it too, though not so much that I could quite perceive why it's so insanely popular. The 3D is good and the themeing is fun, but both times we found the gun on the right side of the car to have inaccurate aiming. In any case, by 11 a.m. the FP return time was already 5:30 p.m.!

In between TSMM trips, we toured One Man's Dream, which has lots of cool exhibits and is a must-see for even casual Disney nerds. We eventually went back and watched the movie, which had as reverential a tone as you'd expect BUT, refreshingly, is mainly narrated by audio clips from Walt himself.

We also did Star Tours twice. The new version is absolutely not to be missed. C-3PO is the pilot, as he always should have been, and the 3D was the most effective I saw. Mrs. Duff ACTUALLY DUCKED when the pointy end of a Naboo fighter burst through the viewscreen. The downside of Star Tours is that the exit, forcing you through the cramped gift shop, becomes unnavigable when it rains, which it did our second time through.

MuppetVision 3D was another first-time experience for both of us. We like the Muppets and we loved MuppetVision. My only complaint is the weird little transforming CG character who flies around: not Muppety in the slightest. At one point I leaned over to Mrs. Duff and said "That little guy is the Poochie of this movie." We also found it sad that so few people were going on MuppetVision, but that may be because it's pretty far back in the park.

I rode Aerosmith by myself, Mrs. Duff having worried about its intensity. To paraphrase Admiral Ackbar, the single-rider line for Aerosmith IS A TRAP. Longest wait of the trip--probably 50 minutes or more. And the ride's too short. Faster than Space Mountain, to be sure, but less fun overall. If given the chance, I won't do this one again. (And I actually LIKE rollercoasters.)

The rain and crowds persisted into the late morning, which meant we had to skip the Studio Backlot Tour, but we were already becoming disenchanted with DHS overall. Our last ride there was the Great Movie Ride, which we decided we'd have liked more if additional costumed cast members appeared and rode along through mismatched genres, like the cowboy in the Alien part. They also shouldn't throw spoilers at you in the queue (though it was nice to have stuff to look at during a 30-minute wait).

We left DHS after this and made our way to Epcot again. We'd had a reservation for Coral Reef, but by this time Mrs. Duff had got ahold of the Unofficial Guide and begun to voice concerns about the restaurant's reputed unreliability. Owing to this, and our desire to have more control over portion sizes and sides (and price), we cancelled the reservation--no cancellation fee--and dined at Seasons instead, which worked out very well. Great-tasting and fresh food, wide variety, and very helpful and friendly staff. (Also: when I walked into the Coral Reef lobby, it smelled kind of like musty fish, which isn't appealing, even for a seafood restaurant.) We managed to finish our long dinner break right before the ~5 p.m. dinner rush. We hit a few other things in Future World, then made our way to World Showcase for some shopping. We didn't get far before a massive downpour hit, sending everyone fleeing for sparse awnings. For our part, we'd foolishly left our ponchos in our hotel room, and as we were growing tired anyway, we retreated to the ferry and went to our hotel, wrestling with a slowly dying umbrella.

Day 5 - Thurs. May 30 - MK, AK, & Epcot:
We arrived for EMH park open at Magic Kingdom, but not quite at the very front this time. Pretty close, though-- close enough that we couldn't see most of the pre-opening performance up on the train platform. I did see Mickey's mouth moving for the first time, which I was unprepared for.

Space Mountain was naturally my first stop, Mrs. Duff opting out due to lingering neck pain. It's too bad, too, because the added themeing (especially in the ride exit) is impressive. We finally rode Pan and Pooh, considered Under the Sea again but put it off due to a long wait, and found ourselves at the Liberty Square logjam within 5 minutes of official park open. This was fascinating to us once we reached Adventureland, which was emptier than I have ever seen any part of MK Orlando. The new pirate treasure-hunt interactive adventure-thing, by the way, is being actively promoted by the cast members assigned to it; I saw no huge crowds for it and assume most guests don't know what it is yet.

We rode Jungle Cruise (and the pilot's chatter was just fine, don't listen to the haters!), then Pirates one last time. I'd obtained a FP for Big Thunder right at 8 and...well, let's just say when I learned guests had defaced part of the queue for Big Thunder, I wasn't shocked. I saw more boorish behavior on this ride than on any other during our trip. Hooting and hollering, well, okay. But college-age guys taking their shirts off and whipping them around their heads DURING the ride? Good thing there's no "Big Honkin' Beercoaster: Presented by Budweiser" at WDW.

By this time we had done every ride we intended to do at MK; no small feat! Upon returning to Fantasyland for some shopping and photos, we found Under the Sea's wait to have shortened, so we rode it again, then figured we'd vacate the increasingly-congested Magic Kingdom (to give you an idea: there was a wait for PEOPLEMOVER) and we hit Animal Kingdom one more time, in the hope that crowds would be lower and we could soak in more of the animal exhibits at a casual pace.

Here, despite having brought our ponchos, rain became a real factor, heavy enough to force us to skip Maharajah trek #2 and delay Kilimanjaro #2 for awhile. Mrs. Duff wanted to check out Rafiki's Planet Watch despite what the Unofficial Guide had to say, so we took the train and spent maybe 20-25 minutes there. We both liked some of the more scientific exhibits, and found the cast members were approachable and knowledgeable. It's definitely a must-do for guests with an interest in veterinary science, or kids with a greater-than-usual preoccupation with animals. Many others would find it boring, though.

At the end of our final day we rode Spaceship Earth for the fourth and final time, then walked back to the hotel.

Epilogue:
The staff at Swan were professional and helpful, even on those occasions when they couldn't answer a question directly. Some had a stuffy air, but I didn't mind. (I did mind that the Swan spa leaves you voicemail spam. I don't like the sensation of returning to my hotel room after a long day and seeing a message light I wasn't expecting.)

This was also our first experience with Sun Country and I have no complaints. Flight attendants ranged from unexpressive to downright friendly, and the other staff we interacted with were quite nice and helpful.

Any words I could use to describe MCO's TSA checkpoint would probably violate board profanity guidelines. How can you justify having such a terrible traffic flow at possibly THE big tourism airport in the country? That experience put me in a foul mood for the next several hours. Luckily we enjoyed a cheap, tasty, unhurried Subway meal upon our return home.